…just trying to navigate through this obstacle course called life…

Mental Health Mondays – Inside an Attack

August 6, 2012 by BewilderedBug | 27 Comments

Mental Health is a serious issue affecting our society today.

In an effort to get rid of the negativity and the stigma against mental issues, these brave people have chosen to share their stories with you.

Be nice, read, reflect and respond reasonably.

Mental Health Mondays has NOT died, it is ongoing, but it needs you to be brave by sending in your stories, in order to continue.

If you would like to express yourself and share your story on Mental Health Mondays, please feel free to email me at bewilderedbug(at)gmail(dot)com or tweet me at @bewilderedbug

Let’s continue to spread mental health awareness together

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Please welcome Brandy, my friend from Insane Mamacita’s Musings, as she discusses her experiences with panic attacks.  I get these too and I can completely relate to what she is saying here.  If you recognize yourself in any of what she says please go investigate it – these things are  not life threatening but they affect so much of your life you would not believe!  Read on lovelies and please do feel free to share, comment or ask questions.

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Have you ever been inside an attack?

An anxiety attack?

If not, count yourself lucky.

They are horrible.

I would not wish them on my worst enemy.

If I had one, that is.

What does an attack feel like you may wonder.

Your heart starts pounding and racing.

So much so you may start to think you are having a heart attack.

Various parts of your body start to shake.

Some may even go numb.

You begin to sweat.

Your hands get cold and clammy.

All of sudden you are dizzy and light headed.

You may even feel like you want to throw up.

And you have this sudden urge to flee from wherever you may be.

That response is called “Fight or Flight.”

When I am inside an attack my mind goes completely negative.

I cannot do anything.

I am nobody.

I am no good.

I will be stuck in this abyss forever.

Or at least it feels like it.

It seems like you fall into a big black hole of despair and you will never find a way to dig yourself out of it.

Attacks make you physically and emotionally exhausted.

So much so that I always want to go to sleep after having one.

Once you have an attack you are always on guard for the next one.

And if you are like me, sometimes you talk yourself into one.

It’s a vicious cycle.

I have suffered from anxiety almost my entire life. But only realized that it was something to really be concerned about after I had my first car accident (I slid into a ditch with no damage to the car and no injuries to myself or my passenger).

A few weeks after the accident I pretty much stopped eating. I wanted to eat but the thought of it made me feel ill. It was awful.

And I was having these body shocks at work. Which will also turn into uncontrollable shakes

I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker.

I felt like a zombie.  Just going through the motions of every day life.

A few co-workers noticed what was happening and told me that I needed help.

And help I sought out and received.

I began seeing a mental health counselor who provided me with reading materials and we went through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  But mostly, she was there just to listen to me and my story.  My life story.  How it affected the woman I had become to that point in time.  It really helped to go see her.  I always looked forward to my visits with her.

I do not really know to this day what brought the attacks on specifically.  When I was teen, test and exam times really brought my anxiety out.

And now that I have been suffering for years from this and know what it is, sometimes I actually talk myself into an attack.  For example, I have trouble eating out in public.  If I know we are going out to a restaurant, my thoughts run wild.  Will I have attack in front of everyone?  Will I choke on my food? Will every one stare at me?  It consumes my mind.  I cannot stop it.  So, the end result is that I usually have an attack and have to leave immediately.

After a few years of being in therapy I have learned many tips and tricks for overcoming an attack. It’s just putting them into practice that is difficult for me. I know about muscle relaxation. I know deep breathing techniques. I practice positive self- talk. I have even meditated. I really need to make sure I practice these techniques more often so that I can one day say that I am finally rid of my anxiety.

Concentrating on my breathing is the technique I most rely on.  Getting my heart rate down and doing something that is repetitive seems to have a calming effect on me.  Sometimes, if I am alone, I will rock back and forth.  I will often go outside if weather and access permits to get a handle on my attack.  Taking in deep breaths of cool fresh air soothes me.

Sharing my experiences with my friends and family makes me more comfortable and I know that even if they don’t know or understand what I am going through that at least they are there to support me whenever and if I need it.

Joining support groups is also another avenue I have explored.  Being around people who have similar mental health issues makes you realize that you aren’t alone.  And it’s good to talk about what is going on in your life instead of bottling it all up, ready to explode.

I have learned so much about anxiety in these past few years but yet it seems as if I do not know anything at all.  I pride myself in being a life-long learner.  Hopefully one day I will have learned so much and practiced techniques so many times that I will finally be able to say that I have conquered my arch nemesis!

Until that day… I am still learning and coping.

 

Brandy is a stay at home, work at home, study at home mom to two very active boys (some may call them insane). She spends entirely way too much time on social media but also loves to read and go for walks for mommy time outs. Brandy can be found blogging at www.insanemamacita.com. She tweets at insanemamacita and she would be pleased if you “like” her Facebook Page.

Mental Health is a serious issue affecting our society today.

In an effort to get rid of the negativity and the stigma against mental issues, these brave people have chosen to share their stories with you.

Be nice, read, reflect and respond reasonably.

Mental Health Mondays has NOT died, it is ongoing, but it needs you to be brave by sending in your stories, in order to continue.

If you would like to express yourself and share your story on Mental Health Mondays, please feel free to email me at bewilderedbug(at)gmail(dot)com or tweet me at @bewilderedbug

Let’s continue to spread mental health awareness together

***************************************************************************************

  • Karen

    I experienced my first panic attack last year in my classroom.  As the teacher at the end of the hall, with no one else around, there was no escape.  Trying to hide that feeling made it all the worse, I’m sure.  I had them pretty badly daily for a few weeks before I finally allowed my husband to take me to the doctor.  I now have emergency medication in my purse, but the attacks did go away for the most part after getting my thyroid levels under control.  I am still having some issues with anxiety, but those intense panic attacks are something I, too, would not wish on my worst enemy.

    • BewilderedBug

      Panic attacks can be debilitating, so please get the help and therapy needed to learn to control them. I know where you are coming from and you can always chat with me here or on Teitter or email if you wish to. Also if you want to write a piece for Mental Health Monday about your experience, please feel free to contact me.

  • Brandi

    Thanks for sharing your experience Brandy!  It helps to read from someone who goes through it, so that I can better understand what it must be like, even though I could never fully relate as I haven’t had it…it helps to know from your point of view the struggles you face with each panic attack and anxiety.  Sounds like you’re doing your best and making some great progress, keep it up! :)

    • http://www.insanemamacita.com/ Brandy InsaneMamacita

      I will continue to do my best! That is all I can do. Thank you so much for your support Brandi and for reading my post. :)

      • BewilderedBug

        You are amazing Brandy (and Brandi!) – just keep doing what you are doing and you will be fine!! *hugs*

    • BewilderedBug

      For those of you who are fortunate enough to have never had a panic attack, if you do notice someone being panicky, I think the best thing to do is find a quiet spot to take them to an to help them control their breathing and let them calm down privately. Very often the ‘shame’ of having an attack often makes it worse. Don’t make a huge deal about it, just help them calmly through it. You can ask questions later!

  • Sherry F

    Thank you for sharing your story Brandy.  I hope you continue to fight your demons.  Have you ever considered CranioSacral Therapy?  I have been researching it as my niece suffers from anxiety and panic attacks.  She hasn’t tried it yet but is considering it.  I am rooting for you too!

    • http://www.insanemamacita.com/ Brandy InsaneMamacita

      Thank you for your support Sherry! I have never heard of that therapy, I must Google it! The last couple of months I was trying a new to me therapy called Bowen treatment. It’s interesting but I need to go more consistently to see if it actually will help me. Thank you again!

      • BewilderedBug

        I would love to learn more about both these therapies! I really Gould educate myself further on treatments!!

    • BewilderedBug

      What is Cranio Sacrial Therapy? I have heard of it but never investigated it. I have to admit it brings up pictures of my head attached to electric probes!!!

  • gail coulter

    Thank you so much for sharing your story.  No one does undertand until they have one. I have  them quite regularly, anytime I am thrust into a new situation  or an uncomfortable  situation. I have one.  Its   watching myself totally come unglued.  I remember the last bad one I had. I had been going to classes  at the same place for weeks, this one day  I been running and had no opportunity to unwind before  this class. I could not remember where to  go or what time this class started. Thought I had missed the class completley. Once I found the right floor and where I was suppose to be.  Which was the out patient mental health floor.  I cried for about  40 min.  I was shaking, in tears  and exhausted. Everybody passing by was like in slow motion. I still to this day  start to panick when I even think about it. For acouple daysafter this I had major miagranes and could not face  the world.  Panick attacks are scary especially when no one understands them and sometimes you do not even understand them.  Until recently I did not understand them.   Than I thought oh no they are going to lock me up and   throw away the key. that would be worse for me. Than I realised that I was not alone. Sadly though in many wanys I walk this issue alone as my family does not know because they would not understand, and I would get ridiculed more than ususal so I do not  talk about it.

    • http://www.insanemamacita.com/ Brandy InsaneMamacita

      Thank you for sharing your struggle Gail. It is so true, no one understands unless they have them themselves or they take the time to learn about them. *hugs* to you. I will be thinking of you in your journey to finding the strength to get through your attacks.

    • BewilderedBug

      Gail, I pray that you find peace soon – having a panic attack in this manner in public can be ridiculously embarrassing and that does not help relieve it at all. We just have to try to remember that it is only temporary, that it will pass and that most times people will NOT recognise another person having a panic attack. Try to find a quiet corner to calm yourself and once you are calm continue on.

  • http://twitter.com/mommykatandkids Kathryn Lavallee

    Thanks for sharing this! Anxiety is a horrible thing; I tend to go through it right before my time of the month and of course, being anxious about it makes me more anxious; it’s awful! But I’ve never heard what a full-fledged panic attack is really like. It sounds like you’re making amazing progress though!

    • http://www.insanemamacita.com/ Brandy InsaneMamacita

      Thank you Kathryn! It’s a struggle. Everyday is different. Hopefully one day I can say that I am anxiety free. But until then, I continue on. Thank you for your support!

    • BewilderedBug

      Kathryn, a full fledged panic attack is exactly as described here – it is scary even when you know what it is!! I pray you never experience one, but if you do, just take a break from whatever you are doing for ten minutes and take a few deep breaths – it does pass even though it feels as if you are dying, I promise!!

  • Elizabeth Lampman

    Thank you for sharing this, and hopefully spreading awareness about anxiety.  My sister struggles daily with social anxiety disorder and has now been away from work for over a year due to a boss who only worsens her anxiety issues to the point where she couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning to go to work.  It is surprising just how many people are unaware of just how devastating anxiety can be.

    • http://www.insanemamacita.com/ Brandy InsaneMamacita

      Yes, hopefully by sharing our experiences we can break down the stigma associated with mental illnesses. I am sorry to hear about your sister. That is awful that her boss is not supportive. I was lucky enough to have employers who were. Thank you for reading my story.

    • BewilderedBug

      Hey Elizabeth,

      I reached very close to that point when I was working – that was last November and I have been working on it to improve my anxiety – it’s now spread to me avoiding interviews etc. really scares me because I need to work – how else am I going to explain this huge absence from work?

  • Trish

    Kudos to you for sharing your experience Brandy.  It has been my experience that anxiety attacks can be devastating on all levels and as you said, it makes it hard to be in public for fear of having one.  I will be thinking of you on your journey toward recovery–you go girl! xo  

    • http://www.insanemamacita.com/ Brandy InsaneMamacita

      Thank you so much Trish for reading my story and for your support! I really appreciate it.

      • BewilderedBug

        Trish is an awesome support and writes at Mental Health Info.

    • BewilderedBug

      Thanks for commenting Trish, we all have to stick together on our mental health journey. I believe this post has resonated with a lot of people :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/annectaylor1 Anne Taylor

    Thanks for sharing your story.  Just reading the symptoms made me panicky lol  I’ve had panick attacks for over 20 years now and can pretty much talk my way out of them now….most of the time!  But I do have trouble reading or talking about symptoms, for some reason it makes me panick.

    I’ll be rooting for you!

    • http://www.insanemamacita.com/ Brandy InsaneMamacita

      Thank you for your comment Anne. It’s a funny thing, I sometimes talk myself into the attacks and then, I have to talk myself out of them.

      Thank you for your support!

      • BewilderedBug

        That’s the key isn’t it? Talk yourself OUT of it, control your breathing and just wait it out.

    • BewilderedBug

      I get these too – when I did not know what it was it was more than scary! Thank you Brandy for sharing this!