I fear that I’ve been slothful.  And that scares me more than I could realize….

After all I am God fearing….

About 2 months ago I was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Tendonitis of the arms.  At first it was completely debilitating – I couldn’t hold a phone, couldn’t cut my food, couldn’t wash or blow dry my hair, couldn’t hold my handbag….it was as if I had gone from completely independent to almost completely dependent.  My poor hubby had to take on all the housework, all the cooking and found himself cutting up my food for me at restaurants.  It was (for me at least) highly embarrassing to be put in the situation of complete dependence.  I’m supposed to be strong and able, how did this happen?

So after about 1 1/2 months of physiotherapy and massage therapy, heat therapy, Tens etc….I’m able most of the time to cut my own food, carry my bag, read a book.  I still use my headphones and mike to speak on the phone so I don’t have to hold it, I don’t do housework yet for the most part, cooking is still impossible and I can sometimes wash my hair but not blowdry it.  Driving is challenging.

However, because it’s been 2 months and I haven’t cooked a single meal, haven’t cleaned a single spot in the house, and have only done 2 loads of laundry, I feel lazy.  It makes me wonder how much of my inability to do these things have become laziness and how much of it is actually necessary.

And as anyone would be, my husband is frustrated – he didn’t CHOOSE to do everything.  And yes, the arguements have started.

I don’t know what I can and cannot do, but I know what I SHOULD do – as an active participant in my household and in my life.  I feel absolutely horrible because he works so hard and I feel as if I’m drowning in the murky pool of the sin, Sloth.  Am I just sitting there and not doing my share because it’s convenient?  I don’t even know.

What I mean is I go as far as I can at work (where I’m getting paid), but when I come home I rest – the home is your haven right?  This puts a lot of responsibility on the hubby – he needs a rest too – and if you go to work and work hard all day, the last thing you want to do when you come home is do someone else’s chores alongside your own.

What do you think?  How do you differentiate between being slothful and needing to recover?  What suggestions do you have to maybe start sharing responsibility again?